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Redknapp, the son of loveable professional cockney and Tottenham manager, Harry, said he hopes that his candid confession can now bring the sorry saga to a close.

“With Andy and Richard starting their new jobs on Talksport next week, I thought it would best to literally put this matter to bed once and for all.

We expected the Syrian regime to fall ignominiously as Muammar al-Gaddafi’s Libya did, yet politicians did not pay attention to the Assad family’s natural tendency to be exceptionally stubborn both militarily and diplomatically, the latter of which has been firmly illustrated by their negotiations with Israel over returning the Golan Heights to Syria since 1967.

Secondly the West and its allies such as Turkey and the Gulf States belatedly funneled arms into the rebel groups before it fully understood the nature of the Syrian insurgency.

So for the avoidance of doubt, I can confirm that I did indeed smash it.

However, I must clarify that whilst I was, as Richard so correctly pointed out, ‘, this must not be seen as a slight on the slackness of the vagina and or anus of the young lady in question.

Correspondingly a resurgent, but unwinnable, war on terror has, according to data gathered by the Syrian Network for Human Rights, distracted us from President Bashar al-Assad’s regime (which) ‘remains, for many Syrian civilians at least, the biggest threat to their lives.

There was little uproar or public pressure to step up political solutions to the Syrian Civil War when Assad’s bombers indiscriminately slaughtered 112 of its civilians in the town square of Douma on 16th August 2015 in one of the more harrowing attacks of the conflict.

Yarmouk on the outskirts of Damascus (Assad’s centre of power), home to the neutral Palestinian refugee population, has become a battleground between Islamic State affiliates and Assad’s paramilitary forces.

The continued threat of these groups to the regime disproves the myth that Damascus has been secured by the Syrian security apparatus gamble.

In Syria and Iraq we now wage a covert and endless war against ISIS, a symptom of the Syrian Civil War.

In short the West, and in-particular the United Kingdom, is absent a coherent strategy which is frequently in contradiction to events occurring on the ground.

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